Because I never went with the bold idea of creating a universe, I never realized how much that would make me open up about myself in new ways.
I have always gravitated around complex, dark, inspiring, magical, unpredictable, and compelling stories. Human emotions, spirituality, God, and duality, are some of the things that have always fascinated me. And for that, I wanted to work on a novel which heart could hold human emotions, the conscious and unconscious feelings, and the complexity under the simplicity of being a human being.
I’ve committed myself to writing my first fiction novel for about nine months now. And, as I’m taping my fingers on my keyboard, I can watch characters rise from nothing. Their physical aspects along with their mental characteristics, their strengths and weaknesses, their deepest wounds, their flaws, pieces of me reflected on each little action, compulsion and habit, embarrassing tendencies and meaningless reactions, revealing their inner deep nature.
I root for them as if they were real. They are, after all, fragments of my soul.
I can feel premises of emotions taking form. I can see the hesitant actions, hear the sighs, smell the scents, and live their feelings and senses along with them. I can capture subtle moments, grasp unspoken words, show unseen nuances, and make futile details sparkle.
And I can also just silently observe. Observe the flow and the exchange of energy between the characters, the various nature of their relationships, the shadows changing as the sun goes down and as the moon rises, darkness and light, taking rounds in the story.
I can just sit and appreciate the sounds, the smells, and the colors appearing around me, as if they are being summoned.
And as various and numerous shades stand out against the shifting backgrounds, creations collide, beauty merges, and a delicious ambiguity settles in.
It’s all in my head as I try to translate everything faithfully on my screen. A world filled with life, a whole universe waiting to be created.
And as the writer, I’m aware that I’m the one holding the candle to unveil, reveal and expose that new unknown space to the audience. I’m the guide who walks through the gaps of her imagination, trusted to bring order, coherence, and equilibrium to this tiny little universe.
Even though, I may get lost and confused. Even though, I may not always succeed in accomplishing unity and consistency, and sometimes even struggle to keep everything in balance. I’m confident.
Passion and truth are two important aspects in this creative craft. I believe they are both in my side. And as long as I’m committed, I will honor that in the best possible way.